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Vigil Held for Domestic Violence Sufferers

Jessica Bair/SUNCOAST

Nicole Ashley, 18, who works at the Salvation Army domestic violence shelter in Port Richey stands in the center of the candlelight circle to discuss local resources available to help victims of domestic violence.

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By Jessica  Bair | The Suncoast News

Published: November 1, 2007

NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. - NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. - At 27, she fell down a short flight of stairs in her home. A year later she fell down those stairs a second time. That fall left her paralyzed from the waist down.

She didn't fall on her own accord. She was pushed.

She was pushed for telling him she wouldn't help his drug habit by weighing his pot on a scale. She was pushed again for the floors not being spotless.

Sandy Boliek, now 64, remembers what her abusive ex-husband did to her every day. She remembers walking into the hospital in 1972 and not being able to walk out.

She was operated on twice on the same day. She was pronounced legally dead but survived, becoming wheelchair dependent, she says.

She lived for a while in Damascus, Md., with her children – then ages 8, 9 and 10 – by her late first husband, and a 4-year-old daughter by the new abusive husband. He would tell her to crawl on the floor to get what she needed.

The mental and physical abuse inflicted by her second husband lasted seven years, until she came to Florida to escape.

"I thank the Lord for being by my side," Boliek told a mostly female audience about being a victim and survivor of abuse. "I am a survivor and a fighter. I am not a quitter," she told attendees.

Boliek can now walk short distances with a walker but the ability is slowly vanishing, she says.

She along with several other women told their stories at a domestic violence candlelight vigil at Pasco-Hernando Community College West Campus, in the New Port Richey area, on Tuesday.

Many local agencies, like the Pasco County Sheriff's Office victim advocate unit, provided information on domestic violence awareness and prevention.

In addition, a donation drive for the Salvation Army Domestic Violence Shelter in West Pasco was held for nonperishable food items, toiletries and clothing.

Cherina Slepecki, the president of PHCC Women's Resource Group, which hosted the event, also shared her experience.

"The nightmares never go away. The tape never stops playing," she explains of her memories, which include child abuse, domestic violence and rape.

At four months pregnant, she recounts, "things went bad."

Slepecki told of many altercations including one when her ex-husband, the man she now dismisses as "sperm donor," began choking her as she tried to take a shower, attempting to break her bottom jaw.

She nearly died from the experience, Slepecki says.

On other occasion while her child slept in the other room, he came home drunk breaking items throughout the house. He then turned on her and beat Slepecki with a table leg.

Later, a Pennsylvania state trooper took her to a shelter with only $200 in her pocket.

Both women sought refuge at local shelters before creating new lives for themselves and their children in Florida.

The haunting memories have given Slepecki post traumatic stress disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, her doctors say.

"If I stop and think about it, I'll break down," she says of her traumatic experiences.

So, they stay active and busy. Both survivors are honor students at PHCC and heavily involved in student organizations.

Boliek's youngest daughter, Heidi, 24, drives her to class and appointments. Slepecki, who now has a 3.6 GPA, will graduate in May.

"It never goes away," says Boliek, of the mental and physical scars from her injuries. "But the more people you tell, the more help you can get," she stresses.

She has written poems and a story entitled "Silent Whispers, Hidden Secrets," for school courses as a coping mechanism.

Guests were invited to add their message to a T-shirt project to express their feelings. One T-shirt that hung from a clothes line simply read, "No More."

If you or someone you know is in need of help, contact the Pasco County Sheriff's Office Victim Advocate Unit at 727-844-7793 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

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